The three words that can crush any man — and how to avoid them.
It’s a horrible place. A place no man wants to be. Some have called it “No Man’s Land.” Others, the Land of Constant Sorrow. That place is the Friend Zone, and no one is immune. Shoot, even Canadian rapper-come-heartthrob Drake has notoriously been Friend-Zoned (apparently by the Rihanna multiple times). So how do we ban together and avoid this place and its pitfalls? Well, don’t worry because your friends here at Green Lumber have a few tips and tricks for helping our brothers out. And the answers are surprisingly simpler than you might think.
The first step in making sure you don’t get stuck in a place where you don’t want to be is making sure you have ALL the information. While this seems like a pretty straight-forward response, make sure you ask yourself a few simple questions upon meeting someone who you’re interested in, attracted to and may be down with taking things to another level.
Is she available? While this seems like quite the basic ask, you should always make sure that she’s not currently in another relationship with another man — or woman— irrespective of what her Facebook status says. Further, you need to do your homework and make sure that there’s no one else commanding her romantic affections. In other words, if she’s emotionally UN-available make sure you’re not wasting your time. She could still be hung up on an ex-boyfriend or has her sights set on some other lucky fellow NOT named you. Regardless, you should make sure that the coast is clear.
The second step in making sure you don’t get stuck in the Friend Zone is to be clear with your intentions. Okay, so she’s available. Great! Now, what? And in case you haven’t been paying attention, you shouldn’t go ‘making any moves.’ There’s a whole #metoo movement that’s sprung up because of those bad apples who felt like they were entitled to sex. So establish your intentions with words, explain how you may be romantically interested in a woman or how you’d like to pursue a physical relationship. It’s basic human decency. Informing a potential love interest your attraction may be very well received, or you might earn her respect even more. So go ahead, build your case for dating based on friendship, trust and openness and see how everything unfolds.
If step one and two don’t help you find love, there’s always step three. And what’s step three you may ask? Well, it’s getting over it. Yep, sucking it up, accepting that there just isn’t any spark and decide if you are okay with just being the friend of a woman you’re incredibly drawn to. It’s your decision. And believe us when we say this, there are tons and tons of other women out there who just might want to pursue a mutual romantic relationship with you. Yes, even you!
At this point in this article, it’s important for you to take a breath. Yes, sometimes we all must learn to accept the fact that she might just not be that into you. And the best way to avoid being stuck in the Friend Zone is to…just not get stuck in the Friend Zone. Make your case, shoot your shot and if you miss, move on. It’s really that simple. Do feelings change? Do relationships change? Sure, but being stuck in NetFlix and Chill Purgatory shouldn’t be acceptable for any man.