Unhappy In Bed? Why is he not performing? Does he still love me? Is he having an affair?
These are just few of the questions women ask when their man is not performing in bed, they may be unsure as to how to proceed nor how to react. They may want to talk to him, but may also be nervous and fearful at the same time.
So, is it a good idea to ask him why he is not performing in bed? Of course it is. A dull or boring sex life can have negative impact in a relationship. It is important to note that an open line of communication is an important component of a happy and healthy relationship, both in the physical and emotional sense. If you cannot talk to him about sex, how do you honestly expect your relationship to continue?
According to Margaret Ramage, a sex therapist, there are 4 different reactions women have when her man is unable to perform in bed. These are :
- Feeling that she is not attractive or sexy enough
- Suspicion or conviction that her partner is having an affair
- Relief especially when women doesn't really enjoy sex
- The feat that there is something seriously wrong with her man – that he must be suffering from diabetes or working too hard.
Misunderstanding can make things worse and can be devastating in a relationship, to avoid this, the need to communicate with your partner is key. You must realize you are not always the problem.
According to Health24 the most common cause of erectile dysfunction (ED) is damage to arteries, smooth muscles and fibrous tissues. 48% of erection issues are caused by problem with blood vessels (vascular). I is rarely about the partner herself.
So, good communication is key to make your relationship work. If you can talk to your partner about his sex performance problem, you can likely talk to him about anything. This means that your relationship is less likely to suffer from lack of communication. This may translate into less arguments and much easier for your partner to cope with his sex problem.
Realize that ED is treatable and it will improve with proper solution. The last thing your partner wants to hear is he is not providing you with enough pleasure and excitement. That's a big NO NO to come from you. The best you can do are the following :
- Mentally lift him up
- Search together for a good doctor
- Find out how to treat his case
- If it’s not curable, try to lift his spirit and let him know it’s okay
- Have some fun together, he might not be able to have an erection but surely you can have some fun with something else as a couple
There are always ways to work things out!
Most often that not, ED condition might be a symptom of an underlying condition requiring medical attention. According to Urologicalcare.com, ED can be and indicator of diabetes. Men with diabetes are 3 times more likely to have ED. It can also indicate other chronic diseases like high blood, cancer, imbalance diet and sleeping disorder.
The thought of having serious health problem can be scary and your partner needs your support now more than ever. Show him your unwavering love and respect for his condition. Make him feel that it is okay for him to talk about his fears and concerns, that you are there for him and you will both get through this together.
Many couple, with the subject of poor performance in bed can be discomforting to discuss, especially to somebody they do not know. The couple must realize that sex has a lot more to do with intimacy than sex and bed. The couple should take professional counseling together for them to be able to make it workout. The fact that you are expressing the need for change is already a significant leap forward for your life and your relationship.
It is important to note, however, that talking about the problem can have an adverse, negative effect on your relationship. Yes, it is important to have an open line of communication in any serious relationship, but there are some things that people just do not want to hear. Do not be surprised if your partner gets defensive when talking to you. In fact, you may want to prepare for it. It is natural for both men and women to get defensive when they are essentially being told that their sex life isn’t good enough and it needs improvement.
If you do decide to talk to your partner about improving your intimacy in the bedroom, just be sure to use caution and your best judgment. Do not criticize your partner and try not to make him feel inadequate. Gently approaching the situation has a number of benefits, including the elimination of hurt feelings, this also allows you to have an open, honest, and mature discussion.
The most important goal is to openly communicate with your partner and address the need to treat the root cause of the problem for him to successfully overcome his sexual performance issue. If medication for his physical illness can worsen his sexual problem, explore and find natural options to treat his illness, a solution with no side effects and complications. Always, a healthy option is the best option.